


A Father's Thoughts

by LadyLaran



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Angst, Family Secrets, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-20 03:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/882228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLaran/pseuds/LadyLaran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A letter from a father to his son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Father's Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> When watching some of the first episodes of Neon Genesis Evangelion, I spotted something in Gendo's eyes that made me think that he felt more for Shinji than just loathing or disinterest. The idea fell into my mind and prompted me to write this.
> 
> Disclaimer - I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion or profit from this at all.

My Dearest Child,

I finally saw you today for the first time in years. I couldn’t believe how much you’ve grown since that fateful day when I left you under the care of your teacher. It was all I could do to stay in the Operations Room when I first saw you standing on the ramp. Instead, I had to act like the cold hearted bastard everyone believes me to be.

My son, if only you knew what was truly in my heart. I saw the devastated look in your eyes when you realized the official reason as to why you had been brought to NERV headquarters. I can’t tell you how brave I thought you were when you took Rei’s place in Unit 0:1 today. I knew how afraid you were, yet in the face of adversity, you didn’t run away. 

Even though I knew that Unit 0:1 would protect you, I knew true terror today. I have struggled all my life to keep you safe from people who would seek you out to hurt me. And yet, despite all of my efforts, I nearly lost you due to the one thing I have been fighting against for over fifteen years. Those damned Angels. 

I know how much you hate piloting the Evangelion, but I cannot release you from that duty yet. Because of that decision, I know that you will suffer more pain down the road. I wish I could be the one to ease your suffering, my son, but I know Captain Katsuragi will do a fine job. She’s an unusual woman with a very large heart. I think she will help you where I cannot.

I truly believe that in time, we will be able to talk about these things. Until then, I will simply put this letter away in a safe place where your pictures and letters are. Yes son, I did keep those innocent letters you mailed to me so faithfully as a young child. They kept me sane and true to my purpose.

Even though you won’t hear these words, I have to say them now. Shinji Ikari, I am proud of the person you have become and I love you very much, son.

Your Loving Father

Commander Ikari quietly placed the finished letter into a battered lock box, then went to the Evangelion holding area to check on the repairs on Unit 0:1.


End file.
